Thus arose the mighty structure of news and information. What follows is not a publicity gimmick by The Hindu, Business Line, weekly magazines, Harvard Business Review, top secret organizations.

It was 11:15 AM in Vancouver, 09:09:09 when I heard 3 knocks on my door followed by the Morse Code for "Please open the door". With sleep weary eyes, I opened the door to see 3 masked men with laser guns and Rayban sun glasses (I had to hide my fastrack on seeing that). They were speaking among themselves in Croatian ( I am a linguistics expert too), deliberating whether they have reached the right door or not. To clear the confusion I declared, " I am the One". "Neo?", asked one masked man (Matrix effects). The question which I chose to overhear and answer by my actions.

After a quick introduction they asked me about my willingness to join their top secret organization of international spies the charter of which was handed over to me in a hardbound 1344 pages book (buried deep under a mountain now).

They asked for my resume which they wanted to handover to their BOSS (Boss Of Secret Service). I tried to open my updated resume in my lappy but due to some ego clashes with MS Office, the word document failed to open. Instead they chose to record my exploits in the art of deceptive movements (I sensed it was a psychometric test). I had read about their knack of testing their Tactical Novice Agents on the basis of random pass by the moment yet miss them variables.

On seeing a big heap of newspapers and magazines lying in a corner of my room, they asked me how am I going to dispose them off (yes, this is my Moment).

Unknown to them the disposal had already begun from the time they were at my home (on reaching back to their base they would fine 2 newspapers in each of their bags :D). Instead of a verbal description I suggested for a more visual journey through the pics.


The journey covering a few hundred miles covering the rugged earth begins here, on the window aisle where the newspapers are most likely found unless my Miser Home mate throws it out somewhere after a quick look at its insides (I know my home mate doesn't read my blog :D)

In the evenings if one finds The Hindu or Business Line in any of the buses plying in the town (developing village actually) then you know the person behind it (mostly my friend Somu sleeping away his time).

Pooling of papers in the Snooker Room is overlooked by many.

Even the ICICI Bank is thinking that their security guard@ATM is following their Businesses through newspapers.

I don't even spare the supermarket where I go to shop (taking pity on those empty shelves in reality).

Sometimes the papers just fall off from my hands on to the ground. Rest in peace.

Lately I tried dumping News@Office but 5 S seeking souls are ought to malign my name by catching me red-handed in the act. But I let myself slip every time.

It was 11:45 AM Vancouver ST, time for a maggi break over a cup of coffee and slice.

In the recent days, one of the most widely asked questions to me was "Where you really kidnapped by the Aliens as mentioned in one of your posts?".Other questions include "Did I get an Alien girlfriend"?, "Would I help them in populating the earth by way of a hybrid human-alien species?", "Was my superior intelligence because of them", "Was this blog being promoted in their planet?". For all of them I had only when one answer which may seem baffling but true.

Gradually people are starting to believe my claims which supported by my hyper intelligent pulsar producing brain turning non-believers into believers. Ever since I am flooded with numerous invitation to various functions including one asking me to deliver politically inflammatory speeches. On the basis of an RTI filed by one of my readers I am forced to reveal the invitations that I got.

1) I was invited to chair the Rockey India. Apparently they are a group of people inspired by the Hollywood film Rocky where Rocky always wins without a hockey stick.

2) Next came an invitation to a premiere show of the Hindi film 'Brave' where the hero likes to ride horses, fights like superman (comics didn't exist those days), says lengthy dialogues (politicians were very inspired) and even had a love affair coming in his way of duty.

3) Dan invited me to score some Brownie points in promoting the book, The Lost Spirit. He somehow found my interactions with the Aliens to be some sort of a sign of an upcoming awakening of the Human soul to a greater understanding of the ancient mysteries which got locked in a portal that was once used by Max Winters to sent back the 13 monsters that roamed the earth. With an illogical scientist of Noveltic Science performing intelligence defying deductions and responses, the book was bound to get lost in the spirits of all those swim-with-the-previous-best-sellers and drown.

4) I was invited by the BOSS (Boss Of Secret Service) to be one of their high-profile up in the air spies (finer details can't be revealed).

5) Due to over commitments in the international front, I am locally jobless.

I still remember the date and time I laid my eyes on her. It was 2:30 pm, 25th Jan 2007 (And am not like the bf of Sonali Kulkarni in Dil Chahta Hai :D). It was love at first sight. All through these years she was by my side. I had always taken her for granted. But she, didn't have a single complaint against me. Our relationship had its share of ups and downs.There were times when I had to go slow on her and at other times she slowed me down.Maybe because I choose to turn a blind eye towards her needs.

I still remember those nights when she used to drain all her power during a power cut watching me sleep on my bed and still wake up the next day as if nothing had happened. There was only one instance of she being stuck down by a virus attack and pressing the panic button in me as I feared I might lose her. That was an year back. Now she is all hale and hearty. We used to watch movies all night long. Sometimes downloading it together or at other times she would download it alone and make it ready for us to watch it together once I am back from work. I have always subjected her to extreme hardships and I felt it was time that I made up to her.

I was waiting for this 3rd anniversary of us being together and planning for it since the last 2 months. I was determined to buy a gift for her. And as luck would have it I was home this time and my bank account wasn't empty :). It wasn't difficult in choosing a perfect gift for her. I decided to buy a 2 GB DDR2 RAM and a new antivirus for her. Also bought a LCD screen cleaner to make her all shiny in this 3rd year of our working relationship. She was named Compaq Presario V6000 but I chose to name her nothing. I abused her 3 X 365 + 1 days.But she didn't say quits on me. I am glad that now she will not slow me down with 2.5 GB RAM running on Win XP :D. She is a stunner. My black beauty. Readers are welcome to present her with memorable electronic gifts (she has a fetish for them).